


Silent Tears

by mtac_archivist



Category: NCIS
Genre: Character Study, Disturbing Themes, Drama, Gen, Not Episode Related, Not a Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-13
Updated: 2009-11-13
Packaged: 2019-03-02 06:51:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13312755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtac_archivist/pseuds/mtac_archivist
Summary: A secret from Tony's past is exposed by a man out for revenge.  Will Gibbs and the team be able to save him from losing everything important to him?





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Jessi, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [ MTAC](https://fanlore.org/wiki/MTAC), an archive of NCIS fanfiction which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after August 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator (and this work is still attached to the archivist account), please contact me using the e-mail address on [ the MTAC collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/mtac/profile)

  
Author's notes: Yest another story I shouldn't start, but I can't help myself!  


* * *

Title: Silent Tears  
Author: Patricia  
Characters: Tony DiNozzo, Jethro Gibbs  
Spoilers: takes place sometime in season 2  
Rating: T  
Warnings: Violence, disturbing images  
Summary: A secret from Tony’s past is exposed by a man out for revenge. Will Gibbs and the team be able to save DiNozzo from losing everything important to him?

 

Jason Miller sat in his tiny apartment, staring at the photographs littering his coffee table. A smile danced upon his lips as he picked up the picture closest to him. There was no doubt in his mind that he was staring at the image of the man that had destroyed his life. The eyes, the cocky grin, the egotistical aura, belonged to none other than Anthony DiNozzo.

He had dreamt of being able to exact his revenge for a long time and thanks to an unexpected twist of fate, his dream was about to come true. How could he have known that by simply being in the right place at the right time, would lead him to the one man he hated more than anyone in the world. He had been huddled in the midst of onlookers behind the yellow crime scene tape when he saw DiNozzo sporting a jacket and a hat bearing the letters NCIS. Jason had immediately pulled out his cell phone and began snapping a few photographs of his nemesis.

Knowing that he couldn’t risk being seen, he had left and headed to the nearest drug store to develop the pictures that he had just taken. Now, he was sitting on his couch, fixated on the photo in his hands.

“You took Sydney away from me and turned her against me.” Jason reached into his pocket and pulled out his lighter. “All she had to do was walk away from you, but she wouldn’t. She said she loved you, kept saying it until her last breath. Sidney would still be alive if she would have left you.”

Setting fire to the picture, he tossed it in the trash can and watched it burn. “I’ve been planning for this day for fifteen years, and believe me DiNozzo, you will suffer. I’m going to enjoy watching you trying to hold onto your sanity.”

Jason’s laughter echoed throughout the small room. By the time the NCIS agent figured out what was happening, it would be too late. Anthony DiNozzo’s life was about to start unraveling before his eyes and Jason Miller would be the one responsible. He was already savoring the sweet taste of victory.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Tony managed to slip through the elevator doors just before they closed. “Thanks for waiting, Kate,” he grumbled as he adjusted his backpack.

“Anytime,” she replied.

“So, what’s you’re hurry? Got a hot date?”

“That is none of your business, Tony. Honestly DiNozzo, you really need to get a life.”

Tony flashed her a grin. “I take that as a yes. What’s his name?”

“You just don’t give up, do you, DiNozzo?”

“Nope. Part of my charm,” he quipped.

“That’s a matter of opinion,” she sharply retorted.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Tony pointed out.

“And I’m not going to.”

The elevator came to a stop. The door opened and the two agents headed towards the parking garage. “Come on Kate, give me a hint.”

“No, Tony.”

“I’ll tell you what I’m doing tonight,” he playfully bargained.

Tony didn’t miss the look of disgust on her face. “I don’t care what you’re doing tonight,” Kate informed him. “I just hope that she’s legally old enough to drink.”

He stopped mid-stride. Most of the time he was able to let Kate’s snide remarks simply slide, but this was not one of those days. Although the case they had worked today had been ruled as a suicide and there was very little to do except file their reports, it had still been a long and tiring day and he was in no mood to trade insults. 

“Yeah, well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” he mumbled. Taking his keys out of his pocket, he left Kate standing in the middle of the garage and headed to his car.

He didn’t turn around when Kate called after him. “Tony, I didn’t mean…”

“See you tomorrow, Kate,” he repeated as he got into his car. Pulling out, Tony gave a slight wave and a smile, just so she would know that he didn’t intend to hold a grudge.

As he was driving, he wondered what Kate would say if she knew that his plans tonight involved a pizza with sausage, pepperoni, and extra cheese, and a ‘Magnum, P.I.’ marathon. She probably wouldn’t believe him, but it didn’t matter; he was too tired to care what she thought.

Tony wheeled into the parking lot of Angelo’s, his favorite pizzeria, to pick up the order he had placed before he left work. After exchanging a few pleasantries with Angelo, he offered to pay for his pizza, but the owner refused to take his money. When Angelo turned his back, Tony stuck a ten dollar bill in the tip jar and made a hasty escape. 

Opening his car door, he placed the pizza on his passenger’s seat and started the engine. He started to back out of his parking space when he noticed something on his windshield. 

“You’d think that people would have better things to do than put flyers on windshields,” he growled.

He got out of his car to discover that it wasn’t an ad on his windshield; it was a picture. Tony grabbed the photo and got back in his car to study the image. 

His hands began to tremble as his fingers traced the face of the woman in the photograph. Choking back a sob, he whispered, “Sydney.” His heart was racing and his head pounding as long buried memories were resurrected and began to assault his mind. He could hear her screaming his name, crying for him to help her, but he had been too late.

The sound of his phone ringing forced him back to the present. He fumbled for the phone and finally managed to answer it.

“DiNozzo,” he rasped.

“Tony, it’s Kate.”

He clenched his eyes shut, attempting to pull himself together so that he could talk to his partner. She would definitely be able to tell that something was wrong. “Yeah?”

“I wanted to tell you that I was sorry about what I said earlier,” she apologized. “It was uncalled for and…”

“It’s okay, Kate,” he assured her, his gaze now riveted to Sydney’s picture. 

“No, it’s not,” Kate continued. “I just…Tony, are you all right?”

Tony cleared his throat. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just been a long day. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Without waiting for a response, he hung up and tossed his phone on the seat beside him. Tony leaned his head back against the headrest. How did a picture of Sydney end up on his windshield? Obviously someone had to put it there. But who? No one in D.C. knew about Sydney and if they did, they wouldn’t place a picture of her on his windshield, sparking memories that consumed his soul like a raging fire. 

“You’re an investigator, Anthony,” he muttered to himself. “Start thinking like one!”

Tucking the picture in the inside pocket of his jacket, close to his heart, Tony went back inside the restaurant to see Angelo. After a problem with vandalism, he had helped the owner install a security camera to cover the parking lot. Hopefully, he would be able to pull the tape and identify the person who had placed the picture on his windshield. 

“Hey, Angelo!” he called out to the robust man. 

“Anthony! Did you forget something?” Angelo asked, clearly surprised to see him. 

“I need to see the tape from your video surveillance camera in the parking lot.”

“I’m afraid that’s impossible, Anthony.”

Tony could feel his rage beginning to build inside him. “What do you mean?”

“That camera’s been broken since last week. I meant to ask to you to look at it, but today’s the first time you’ve been by since it happened, and you looked so tired, I didn’t want to impose,” the older man explained. “Did something happen to your car?”

He tamped down his anger; it wasn’t Angelo’s fault that the only clue as to who left him the photograph of Sydney had vanished. “No, Angelo,” he sighed in frustration. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Are you sure? You don’t look so well. Maybe I should call Jethro.”

“No, don’t do that!” Tony protested, his tone a bit harsher than he intended. “I’m fine. Thanks again for the pizza. I’ll uh…fix that camera the next day I’m off.”

“Then I shall reward you with a one of my specialties. Rigatoni alla Angelo!” the older man promised.

“Sound’s good. See you later.”

He went back to his car, uncertain what he should do next. The picture of Sydney had completely unnerved him, causing him to feel like he was losing control of his mind and his life. Tony pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards his apartment. He need to get his head on straight in order to figure out what was going on. His gut was telling him that something was very wrong. Since he had been working with Gibbs, he had learned to trust his instincts. Maybe if he had listened to his gut fifteen years ago, Sydney and their son would still be alive.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Jethro Gibbs emptied out the contents of his glass and poured himself a drink. It was a rarity that his team caught a case that was wrapped up in a single day, but today had been an exception. A Navy lieutenant had jumped to his death and although his death had been ruled a suicide, it had still proved to be a taxing day. 

He took of sip of his bourbon and stared at his boat. It was about half way finished, but he knew in his heart that in a sense, it would never be completed; when this one was done, he would simply start another one. This basement was his refuge from the stress and the harsh realities of his job; if he wanted to be truthful, there had been times that working on his boat had spared his sanity. 

As he picked up a piece of sandpaper, his cell phone rang. Glancing at the caller ID, he saw that it was Kate. “Yeah, Gibbs,” he answered.

“Gibbs, I have a problem,” Kate began.

He sat down on a sawhorse, knowing that this could turn into a long conversation. “Yeah?”

“Well, I think I hurt Tony’s feelings,” she confessed.

“You’re calling me to tell me that you think you hurt DiNozzo’s feelings?” Gibbs was sometimes amazed by the naivety of the former secret service agent. Sometimes she could be so gullible, especially when it came to DiNozzo. 

“Well, I didn’t mean to and I called to apologize and he said that it was all right, but I’m not sure I believe him.”

“And why wouldn’t you believe him, Kate?”

“Well, he sounded…odd.”

Gibbs couldn’t help but grin. “Did you ever think that maybe he was busy?”

“Well, I uh…oh God,” she exclaimed. “Do you think I was interrupting something? Oh, God.”

“I’m sure he’ll let you know in the morning,” Gibbs added. DiNozzo was right; it was a lot of fun to tease her. “If I were you, I’d have some doughnuts and coffee waiting for him,” he suggested. 

“Do you think I should call him back and apologize for calling him in the first place?” Kate asked.

“No, Kate. Just save it for the morning.”

He would have to remember to tell DiNozzo to go along with the gag. The fact that Gibbs had initiated the joke would delight Tony to no end. “I’ll see you in the morning, Agent Todd.” Gibbs hung up his phone and stuck in the pocket of his jeans. Deciding that he was hungry, he went upstairs to fix himself a sandwich.

As he was getting the bread, he heard a knock at his door. His senses were on high alert, especially since he wasn’t expecting anyone. Making sure that he could get to his gun if necessary, he cautiously opened the door. Attached to his door was an envelope with his name on it, spelled out in letters cut from a magazine. 

Looking around outside, he saw no one in the immediate vicinity. Gibbs stepped inside, grabbed a pair of latex gloves out of his jacket pocket and slipped them on. He pulled the letter off the door and went back inside, debating on whether to open it or take it in to work and let Abby open it in the safety of the lab. 

Making his decision, he took the knife and opened it on one end. Carefully peering inside, there was a piece of paper and a photograph. He pulled the picture out and studied it for a few minutes. The young girl in the photo couldn’t have been more than 18 and it was obvious that she was pregnant. Gibbs guessed that she was probably in her last trimester. Turning the picture over, he saw the words ‘Sydney, 8 months’, inscribed on the back. 

Gibbs pulled out the letter and its contents were also written out using letters from a paper or magazine. He began to read it to himself.

Be careful who you trust. Even the closest of friends have secrets they don’t want to share.

If it hadn’t been for the picture of the young girl, Gibbs would have thought that the letter was talking about him. Very few people knew about his past and he preferred it that way. There were so many memories, most of them good, but they were his memories and he didn’t want to share them with anyone. 

He considered his team to be close and Jethro Gibbs felt that he knew all he needed to know about his team. Kate and McGee were still fairly new, but DiNozzo had been with him for close to four years and there were some aspects of the young man’s life that Gibbs would have rather not known. His brow furrowed as he read the letter again. Someone was playing games with him and he was not one to play games. He picked up the picture of the girl and stared at it for what seemed like hours. Gibbs vowed to find an answer in the morning. Someone was trying to make him doubt his team’s integrity and that was not going to happen. 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Tony sat in his apartment; the pizza that he had initially craved remained untouched, as he continued to stare at the picture of his late wife. Alone in the darkness, he had allowed the tears to flow as he clutched the photograph to his chest. He was in agony. It was not a physical pain that would go away with a couple of aspirin; the scars on his heart had been ripped open causing him to ache for what he had lost. 

How different would his life have been if Sydney and their son hadn’t died? That was something that he didn’t want to think about. He had been forced to accept the reality of their deaths and move on and now someone was determined to torment him with the memories of his past. 

“Come on, Anthony,” he chastised himself. “You’ve got to get it together. Someone is just messing with you.”

The phone rang and he decided to let the machine pick it up. It was probably Kate again, wanting to apologize for her sarcastic remarks. He listened as the machine answered. 

“Hey, it’s Tony and I can’t talk right now so you know what to do,” the machine said.

After the beep, he heard a woman scream. “Tony! Tony! Help me!”

He bolted up off the couch and picked up the phone. “Hello?” he shouted into the receiver. “Who is…”

“Tony, help me! The baby!” 

“Sydney?” Tony felt the room start to spin. It was her voice, but she was dead. How could she be calling him from the grave? He had buried them; he had seen the undertakers lower their caskets in the ground. “Who is this?” he demanded to know.

He could hear laughter on the other end of the line as the screaming ceased. A muffled voice answered him. “I’m your worst nightmare.” 

The line went dead and Tony stood there with the receiver in hand. In one swift motion, he took the phone and flung it across the room. Why was this happening? Why now? He missed Sydney and their baby boy more than words could express, but the fact remained that they were gone. She would have kicked his ass if he had simply wallowed in self pity all these years and although it had taken him a long time to where he felt that he could move on with his life, he had done it. 

He went back to the couch and picked up the picture that had fallen to the floor. “I miss you, Syd. I…” Tony couldn’t finish his thoughts. All he could manage to do was to silently promise her that he would not let whoever was playing this mind game with him, tarnish the memory of his family.

Tony went to his bedroom and fell across the bed. He was exhausted, but he knew that his sleep would not be restful. Sighing, he closed his eyes, knowing he had to try and sleep. Gibbs would kill him for showing up at work looking like he was hung over, but at least everyone would suspect that he had too much to drink and he wouldn’t have to explain the dark circles under his eyes. Of course, Gibbs would be able to see through his façade; the team leader seemed to have a unique ability to sense when DiNozzo wasn’t being entirely truthful.

“Maybe I should just call in,” Tony mumbled to himself as he began to doze. “Stupid idea. Draw too much attention to…” 

The young man allowed the darkness to embrace him. His dreams quickly turned into nightmares, forcing him to relive Sydney’s death over and over in his mind. As he thrashed about, Tony DiNozzo had no idea that somewhere in D.C., Jason Miller was preparing yet another surprise for him.


	2. 2

Tony DiNozzo thought he had conquered the nightmares of his past years ago, but now those once vanquished dreams were returning, forcing him to relive the horrors of that night over and over again. He sat up in bed, his sweat drenched body a testament of the demons he had been fighting. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was almost 5:30 a.m. Tony figured that he probably slept for two hours total, which explained why he felt completely drained.

Knowing that it was useless to try and go back to sleep, he decided to go fro a run, hoping that some exercise would perhaps rejuvenate him to the point that he didn’t feel like a zombie from one of Abby’s favorite horror movies.

Quickly donning his running gear, he grabbed his spare apartment key and cell phone and headed out the door. After securing the two small items in his pocket, he did a few stretches to warm up and then set off on his run. Although he would never admit to being a morning person, he did enjoy the crispness of the early morning air; it never failed to lift his spirits. 

As he continued to lengthen his stride, he wondered if Kate would ever believe that he ran at least five miles a day when his schedule permitted. She was always nagging at him about his junk food; maybe one day he would explain to her that he ran so he could eat his preferred junk food. Women. He would never understand them. Despite his many attempts, there was only one woman that he truly understood and understood him. Sidney could…

Muttering a curse, Tony picked up his pace. He didn’t care that his legs felt as if they were on fire; the pain gave him something else to think about besides Sydney and their son.

His cell phone rang, forcing him to interrupt his rhythm. Bending over to catch his breath, he fumbled for his phone and answered, “DiNozzo.”

The voice on the other end made him shudder; it was the same voice from the night before. “You can’t run from the past. One day, it will eventually catch up to you.”

“Who the hell is this?” Tony shouted into the phone.

“I can’t believe you don’t remember me. Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

The line went dead and Tony snapped his phone shut. Forcing himself to focus, he scanned back through the last few calls until he found a number he didn’t know. He had to find out who was insisting on forcing him to relive his past, but he had to be discreet. He couldn’t ask McGee to do it. He liked the Probie, but the kid was still as green as they came. One look from Gibbs, and McGee would wilt like a rose in the hot desert sun.

Abby. He would go to Abby. Tony knew he could trust her to help him without asking too many questions. All he had to do was invent a plausible reason that he needed her to trace a phone number. He wasn’t prepared to tell her about Sydney; at least not yet. Tony knew he couldn’t bear the looks of sympathy and pity, especially from her. It had taken a long time for the wounds of the past to heal and he wasn’t prepared to bare his scars for all to see.

He figured if he could get to work early enough, he could talk to Abby and no one would be the wiser. He headed back to his apartment for a quick shower, his mind searching for something that would help him discover the identity of his tormentor. 

Tony began to form a list of suspects in his mind. He could start with Sydney’s family; they had never liked him and after he and Sydney had eloped right after she had graduated, their dislike for him had quickly developed into hatred. Her family had been devastated by Sydney’s death, especially her father and oldest brother. Tony couldn’t really imagine either one bothering to look him up after all these years; they had always seemed satisfied to simply deny his existence, especially after the funeral. Sydney’s family certainly had that in common with his father.

He had never shared a close relationship with his father. The senior DiNozzo had disowned him at the tender age of 12, making sure that Tony always understood that he truly didn’t deserve to even be alive. The young man had quickly learned how to hide behind a false persona in order to mask the pain that he had been subjected to, both emotionally and physically. Tony had vowed that his child would know that he was loved unconditionally. 

The last time he had seen his father had been at the trial of Jason Miller, the man who had brutally killed Sydney and their son. Jason Miller’s father was a long time business associate of his father’s, prompting the elder DiNozzo to step in and offer the services of one of his attorneys, who managed to get the case dismissed on a technicality. Jason Miller had fled the country and Tony DiNozzo had been denied the justice of seeing his family’s murderer brought to justice. 

If there was a man that he hated more than his father, it was Jason Miller. In a fit of jealous rage, Miller had managed to take away everything that had ever mattered to him. Surely Jason Miller wouldn’t chance coming back to the states for the sheer purpose of tormenting him; or would he? Tony wondered if he would finally get the chance to avenge the death of his wife and son.

Tony decided that while Abby was tracing the call, he would make a phone of his own to Detective Joel Carson. Carson had been the officer in charge of the case and had been equally angered that Miller had been freed. Tony knew that the detective had taken it up on himself to keep a watchful eye on Miller’s activities abroad; if anyone knew Jason Miller’s whereabouts, it would be Detective Carson.

Tony unlocked the door to his apartment and entered, undressing as he made his way to the bathroom. Turning on the water, he stepped in the shower, sighing in relief as the hot water cascaded over his body. He was tempted to stay in the shower until the hot water ran out, but he couldn’t afford that luxury if he was going to be at work early. Little did he know that his Boss already had Abby working on something that would force him to reveal his secret past.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Gibbs entered the lab, the familiar sound of heavy metal music reverberating throughout the room. In three strides, he reached her stereo system and shut off what he deemed to be nothing more than an irritating racket, causing Abby to look up from the magazine she had been perusing.

“Gibbs!” she exclaimed. “What did you do that for? It was one of my favorite songs!”

“I need to talk to you and I don’t feel like yelling,” he growled. 

“Did you at least bring me a…”

The team leader held up a cup containing her beloved Caf-Pow! He grinned as she grabbed it from his hand.

“Thanks, Gibbs!”

“You’re welcome,” he said. “Now, I need a favor.”

“There’s always a catch with you, isn’t there?” she teased as she took a sip of her drink.

He pulled a plastic bag out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Abby. Gibbs watched as she examined the picture of the young woman. 

“Who is this?” she asked.

“The name on the back says Sydney. No last name. According to the writing on the back, she was apparently 8 months pregnant.”

“Hmm…the writing looks familiar,” she observed. “So, what do you want me to do?”

He kissed her on the cheek. “Do what you do best, Abs.”

“Will, I’ll run the picture through the national database and see if I can lift any fingerprints off of it.”

“Then while that’s running, you can take a look at this.” Gibbs handed her another bag containing the letter that he had received along with the picture. 

“I haven’s seen someone write a letter using words from newspapers and magazines in a long time. This is kind of hinky if you ask me.”

“Do ya think, Abs?”

“Yeah I do, but I do love a challenge.” She slipped on a pair of gloves and took the letter out so she could read it better. “Be careful who you trust. Even the closest of friends have secrets they don’t want to share.”

Gibbs simply shrugged his shoulders when she looked to him for an explanation. “I don’t know, Abs. The letter and the picture were taped to my front door last night.”

“That is just too weird. You know one time my Grammie found a note and picture taped to her door and…”

“Abby,” he said, purposefully interrupting her story. “Let me know when you have something.”

“Now I know how poor Ducky feels,” she mumbled.

Gibbs smiled as he made his way to the elevator. The mysterious letter and picture had bothered him all night. Someone was going to a lot of trouble to make him doubt his team. His gut was telling him that the identity of this woman would lead him to an unexpected discovery.

When he reached his desk, he sat down and began to scan over the reports that had been completed regarding their latest case. He knew that he didn’t need to examine them too closely because Tony had already signed off on them. Gibbs knew that DiNozzo paid attention to every detail and the senior agent would always make sure that there was nothing omitted from the reports that would come back and haunt them later.

As he finished signing the last report, his phone rang. “Yeah, Gibbs,’ he gruffly answered.

“You better come back to the lab,” Abby insisted.

“What’s up, Abs? Have you got an ID already?”

“Not on the lady in the picture, but I did manage to lift some prints off the picture.”

“And you got a match,” he deduced.

“Yep.”

“I’m on my way.”

He hung up the phone and in just a few minutes was walking into the lab. “What do you got, Abs?”

“Are you ready for this?”

“Now, Abby!”

“Have you had your morning coffee yet?”

“Abby, tell me what you found.”

He watched as she pulled up the results on the plasma. Staring back at him was the image of his senior field agent. Gibbs looked at the Goth in disbelief. “DiNozzo?”

“Yep. Actually his were the only prints on the picture.”

Gibbs’ attention was drawn to the photograph of Sydney. Why would Tony’s fingerprints be on the picture if he didn’t know her? The younger man deserved the chance to explain, but he wasn’t sure how to approach the subject. Tony was very guarded about his past and Gibbs realized that there was a lot about the younger man that he didn’t know on a personal level, but he had respected the man’s privacy and not pressed the issue. The team leader didn’t like people prying into his personal life, so he always tried to reciprocate that courtesy. 

“What are you going to do?” Abby asked, interrupting his private musings.

“Don’t mention this to anyone,” the team leader instructed. “I’ll talk to Tony.”

“What are you going to say to him?”

“I’m going to ask him about that girl in the picture.”

“And what if he tells you to mind your own business?”

“That picture and letter was left on my door last night; I think that makes it my business,” he reasoned.

“But you’ll be nice to him, right?”

He winked at the Goth as he picked up the picture and tucked it back in his pocket. “I’m always nice, Abs.”

“Do you still want me to try and get an ID?” she wanted to know.

“No,” he replied, walking towards the elevator. “But I do want you to work on that letter.”

“Will do, but remember what I said. Be nice!”

The former Marine grinned as the elevator doors closed. Abby had a special place in her heart for Tony and was fiercely protective of him as demonstrated by her constant reminders for him to be nice. He had to admit that DiNozzo was filling a void in his own life that had been left by the death of Shannon and Kelly. Sometime in the three plus years that Tony had been at NCIS, Jethro Gibbs had begun to think of the young man as his son; maybe one day he would gather the courage to tell DiNozzo how he felt.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Tony muttered a curse as he pulled into his parking space. Although he wasn’t technically late for work, he was later than he had intended to be, and now he probably wouldn’t have a chance to see Abby. He had been getting in his car when he noticed that his tire was flat. Upon closer examination, Tony saw that the tire had been slashed, prompting Tony to believe that his secret admirer was leaving him yet another message.

By the time he had changed the tire and placed the damaged tire in his trunk, he had to go back inside and change his clothes, throwing him even farther behind schedule. He silently hoped that the rest of his day wasn’t going to be as bad as the last couple of hours had been.

Grabbing his bag, he slung it over his shoulder as he locked his car. Within a few minutes, he entered the bullpen and made his way towards his desk. As he dropped his backpack on the floor, he noticed a package sitting on his desk and right beside it was a box of jelly filled doughnuts. 

He glanced over at Kate, who was the only other member of their team present. “Good morning, Tony,” she cheerfully greeted.

“Morning,” he mumbled as he continued to eye the mysterious package on his desk. 

“It was on your desk when I got here,” Kate informed him. “I just put the doughnuts beside it.”

He smiled at his partner. “You brought me a box of doughnuts?”

“They’re your favorite.”

“Yeah, but I just can’t believe that the queen of tofu brought me a box of fattening, sugar filled, unhealthy doughnuts,” he quipped.

His grin widened when he noticed Kate’s cheeks were now flushed with a hint of crimson. “Yes, I brought you doughnuts because I wanted to apologize for my callous remark last night.”

“You apologized last night,” he pointed out.

“I know, but I when I called, I got the feeling that I was interrupting something…special and then I felt even worse.”

“You thought that you were interrupting a hot date, huh?”

“Well, I…uh…uh…yes,” she finally admitted. “I’m sorry if I did and I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.”

Tony opened up the box, picked up the doughnut and took a bite. “Apology accepted.”

Kate returned his smile. Tony would probably never tell her how much he loved her smile; in some ways, Kate reminded him of Sydney.

Finishing off the doughnut, he licked his fingers off and then picked up the other package to examine it closer. As he read the return address, he dropped the small box back on his desk and fell into his chair. He cradled his head in his hands, hoping that the room stop spinning. 

Tony wasn’t sure how long Kate had been calling his name before he actually heard her. “Tony? Tony, are you all right?”

Tony looked up to find McGee and Gibbs standing behind Kate as she knelt beside him. When had they come in and had they seen him make a fool of himself? Concern was evident in the eyes of the team and it unnerved him to think that they were worried about him. He felt Kate place her hand on his arm in an effort to provide him with a measure of comfort.

“Tony, you’re shaking,” Kate observed. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine,” he protested. 

“Something about that package has obviously upset you.”

The package. That damn package had sent him into a tailspin when he had seen that the return address had been his and Sydney’s residence in Ohio. “It’s nothing,” he tried to reassure her.

“If it was nothing, then you would have already opened it,” she pointed out.

“Maybe it’s private and I don’t want to open it at work,” he countered. 

Before Tony could say another word, Gibbs reached down and snatched the package off his desk. The senior agent’s eyes narrowed as he shakily stood to his feet and reached for the box. The team leader managed to remain just out of Tony’s grasp as he studied the outside of the package.

“Ohio?” Gibbs inquired. “I know you went to school in Ohio; do you recognize this address?”

Tony glared at the team leader. “I’d like my package back now,” he quietly demanded. 

“Who’s it from?” the Marine asked again.

He didn’t want to lie to Gibbs. Tony had never lied to the man, but then he had never expected his past to come back and haunt him. The sudden urge to escape was now consuming him as he angrily pushed by the trio hovering at his desk. He headed towards the restroom in search of some privacy in order to pull himself together. As he reached for the door, he felt someone grab his arm. Whirling around, Tony discovered Gibbs standing behind him, holding his package.

Gibbs held out the box and waited patiently for Tony to take it. “When you’re done, I’ll be waiting in the conference room,” the team leader informed him. “We need to talk.”

Tony watched Gibbs walk away. There was something different about the older man; his eyes were radiating a mixture of confusion, doubt, and oddly enough, sympathy. Tony tried to ignore the knot that was tightening in his stomach and the pounding in his chest. Gibbs knew. Somehow, Gibbs knew about his past and was going to demand that he come clean. He realized that he would have to be honest with Gibbs, but he couldn’t help but wonder if his mentor was truly prepared to hear about how he failed to protect his wife and son.


	3. Silent Tears

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs took a sip of his coffee as he studied the picture in front of him. There was no doubt that she was beautiful and he wasn’t surprised that Tony would know her, but the question that remained to be answered was how well he knew her. Gibbs realized he would have that answer in a few minutes, but until then, he would have to speculate. He was already aware of the fact that Tony was an only child, so Sydney couldn’t be his sister. Maybe she was another relative such as a cousin; or perhaps she was a girlfriend. If Sydney was a former girlfriend, the team leader knew that DiNozzo wouldn’t have shirked his responsibilities to the girl and to the baby, especially considering Tony’s own scarred childhood. 

He sighed in frustration. “I’m missing something, but what is it?” he mumbled to himself.

DiNozzo had come into work this morning, his appearance slightly disheveled and a weariness hung about him like a dark cloud; his usual exuberance clearly hidden bind a mask of exhaustion and worry. Gibbs had to credit the younger man with trying to put on a good front in front of the others, but the team leader had not been fooled. 

He recalled how Tony’s demeanor had completely changed when he had picked up the package off his desk. Gibbs thought the younger man was going to pass out, especially as Kate continued to press Tony for answers that he was not ready to give. Kate Todd was a good profiler, but she had no clue as to how to handle the senior field agent, especially when he became guarded to the point of lashing out at those threatening to crack the façade that he had so carefully constructed over the years. 

Gibbs had taken the package mainly to keep Kate and McGee from getting their hands on it, but that action had only served to anger Tony further. When confronted about the return address, it was obvious that DiNozzo felt trapped and unsure of how to answer. He knew that Tony went to college at Ohio State, so there really wasn’t anything odd about the agent receiving mail from someone in Ohio. It had been Tony’s reaction when Gibbs had asked him about the address that had told the ex-Marine that something was wrong. He would never forget the look in Tony’s eyes; within the depths of those emotive orbs were fear, heartbreak, anger, and desperation. 

Tony had headed towards the restroom in search of some privacy. Gibbs had managed to catch up to him and give him back the package; now he was waiting in the conference room for his senior field agent to join him. He picked up the picture and stared at the mystery woman. In a few short moments, he would have an answer as to who she was, but he had a feeling that discovering her identity was only the first piece of the puzzle that had he had to solve.

A soft knock at the door bought him out of musings. He placed the picture face down on the table as the door opened and Tony entered the room. “Come on in, DiNozzo. Take a seat,” he softly instructed.

He watched the unusually lethargic movements of the agent as he walked over to the table and sat down, carefully placing the unopened package in front of him. Gibbs leaned back in his chair, noticing that Tony had yet to look him in the eye. “DiNozzo?” he called out. “You all right?”

“I’m…just tired,” came the solemn response.

“Been an interesting morning,” Gibbs continued, silently studying the man across from him. 

Tony shrugged. “I guess so. It’s not every day that your senior field agent loses it.”

“No, it’s not.”

“I guess you deserve an explanation.”

“I’d appreciate it.”

“I’m not sure if I can give you one.”

“Why not?” the team leader pressed.

“I don’t know. Scared, maybe,” Tony admitted.

Gibbs’ brow furrowed. “Scared of what, Tony?”

“That you’ll hate me.”

“Why would you think that?” 

“It’s the way it usually works. I screw up and I lose what little respect I’ve earned.”

“I’m not your father, Tony.”

DiNozzo shook his head. “No, you’re not and that’s what makes this so much harder. I finally came to accept the fact that I could never do anything to please him and after a while, I just stopped trying. But you gave me a purpose, a reason to start trying again. You push me to better myself; you’ve taught me so much and I guess that after you hear what I have to say, that I know I’ll lose what respect you may have for me.”

“DiNozzo, listen to me. Nothing that you can say is going to change the way…”

“Don’t say that until you hear the whole story,” Tony insisted. “Please, just don’t.”

Gibbs reached out and turned the picture over. “Does what you have to tell me have anything to do with this girl?” 

He didn’t miss the tremor in Tony’s hand as he picked up the picture, nor did the choked back sob go unnoticed by the team leader. “Where did you get this?” DiNozzo wanted to know.

“It was taped to my door last night along with a letter,” Gibbs explained. “I brought it in to see if Abby could get me an ID and…”

“Abby knows about this?” 

“She didn’t get an ID; but she did manage to lift your fingerprints off this photograph.”

“I guess she would. It’s my picture.” 

“Your picture?” 

Tony nodded. “Her name is Sydney and in this picture, she’s eight months pregnant.” The agent weakly smiled. “She hated that picture; she fussed for a week after I took it, but it was always one of my favorites.”

“How do you know her, Tony?”

The former Marine stared at his senior field agent, patiently waiting for an answer to his question. He could see Tony drawing on his reserves of inner strength; a strength that DiNozzo had been forced to call upon many times throughout his life. As his eyes met Tony’s defeated gaze, Gibbs knew without a doubt that the younger man was about to reveal a pain so deep that it had taken years for Tony to accept the familiar ache as part of his being. 

“She was my wife,” Tony whispered, struggling to hold back the tears that threatened to fall.

Of all the things that Gibbs had expected, he would have never imagined that this girl in the photograph was his wife. He had always suspected that one day, someone would capture Tony’s heart, but he had no idea that someone did that a very long time ago.

“Your wife?” Gibbs repeated.

Tony nodded. “Yeah. We eloped the day after she graduated high school. I had already finished my freshmen year at Ohio State and…”

Gibbs squeezed Tony’s shoulder as he buried his head in his hands. “It’s all right, son. Take your time.”

“I don’t know if I can do this,” the young man mumbled, cradling his head in his hands. “I’m not sure what’s harder; telling you about Sydney or losing your respect.”

The former Marine lifted Tony’s chin until the agent was looking him in the eye. “You could never lose my respect,” he assured DiNozzo. 

“Like I said, you shouldn’t say that until you hear what I have to say.”

“Tony…”

“I didn’t protect them, Gibbs,” he confessed, his voice laced with sadness and remorse. “I didn’t save them.”

Gibbs swallowed nervously as those words echoed in his mind, recalling a time that he had uttered those very words. Images of Shannon’s and Kelly’s smiling faces assaulted his senses causing him to pull away from Tony. Quickly tamping down the memories that threatened to overwhelm him, he saw DiNozzo staring at him, his pained expression clearly indicating that he thought Gibbs was disappointed in him. 

“I’m sorry,” he quickly apologized to DiNozzo. “I was just…uh, thinking of someone who once said those exact same words.”

“Who?” Tony inquired.

“It doesn’t matter right now,” Gibbs replied, knowing that sometime he was going to have face his own past, but at the moment, his priority was helping Tony. DiNozzo was carrying a heavy burden and had been for a long time; Gibbs was determined to help lighten the young man’s load.

“Who couldn’t you protect Tony?” he wanted to know.

Tony stared at him, his eyes telling of the emotional agony that was consuming him. “Sydney. I couldn’t protect Sydney or Michael. He was our unborn son,” DiNozzo painstakingly recalled. “Michael Sean DiNozzo.” 

“What happened?” Gibbs couldn’t hide the uncertainty in his voice. He couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever happened to Tony’s wife and child was horrific, forcing DiNozzo to reopen old wounds that had started to heal over the years.

DiNozzo’s gaze fell to the floor. Gibbs waited patiently for Tony to continue, knowing how difficult it was for him to face the past. The team leader’s heart began to ache for the man he considered to be a son. 

Tony closed his eyes and blew out a pent up breath. “They were murdered,” he quietly began, speaking so softly that Gibbs had to strain to hear what DiNozzo was saying. 

“They were murdered,” Tony repeated, his voice a little stronger, “and I wasn’t there to save them. I let them down,” he cried. “I was supposed to protect them… look out for them, and I didn’t. I heard her…scream my name…as I got out of…my car and…”

Gibbs rose from his chair and knelt down beside Tony. He reached up and began stroking the back of his hair as Tony continued to weep. He knew the younger man well enough to know that DiNozzo would be embarrassed by what he deemed to be his failure to control his emotions, prompting Gibbs to simply allow his physical presence to serve as source of comfort. He knew what it was to lose a wife and child, but he couldn’t bring himself to share his pain.

The two men sat in silence. Something about Tony had always drawn Gibbs to the younger man. He and DiNozzo were opposites, but alike in so many ways; but now they had one more thing in common. They had both experienced a loss so great that it had taken years of forcing one foot in front of the other just to survive. They had both experienced true and unconditional love that had been destroyed by the cruelty of another, and they had both been left behind to pick up the pieces. Now, they were both being forced to acknowledge a past that had been buried but not forgotten because someone was obviously determined to destroy his son.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“What do you think is going on?” Kate wondered, her gaze fixed on Tony’s empty desk.

“I don’t know,” McGee admitted. “Gibbs didn’t look too happy.”

“Neither did Tony,” she recalled, taking a sip of her hot tea. “Did you by chance catch a glimpse of the return address on that package?”

“Not really. Gibbs said something about Ohio and I know that’s where Tony went to school. I can try and access some of Tony’s school records to see what we can come up with.”

Kate shook her head. “That would be invading his privacy.”

“Oh, and he never does that to us,” McGee reminded her.

“You have a point, but I think that this is much more serious than him wanting to know what we had for breakfast and who we’re dating.”

“We won’t know until we look though.”

“No McGee. We wait,” she insisted.

The junior agent sighed. “You’re right. I guess I just don’t like being left out of the loop.”

“I don’t either, but right now I think we better finish up our paperwork until Gibbs tells us otherwise.”

“All right, but you do know that if it were either one of us, Tony wouldn’t think twice.”

“Yeah and he wouldn’t get fussed at by Gibbs, either. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re not Tony.”

“Thank God,” Tim quipped. 

“Tim!”

“I…uh…didn’t mean that…uh the way it sounded.”

“You better not have, McGee!”

Kate watched in amusement as Abby appeared from around the corner and glared at McGee. “I don’t want have to give you that lecture again,” the Goth warned.

“What lecture is that?” Kate asked.

“The lecture that involves me explaining to him that he is not to badmouth Tony ever!” she exclaimed. “You have no idea what Gibbs would be like if Tony wasn’t around to act as a go between for you two. Trust me, being Leroy Jethro Gibbs’ senior field agent isn’t an easy job.”

“You don’t have to lecture me again,” Tim assured her. “I still have a bruise from the last one.”

Kate rose from her desk and joined Abby and McGee. “So, what brings you up here?” Kate pried.

“I need to see Gibbs,” Abby eagerly replied as she looked around. “Where is he?”

“He’s in the conference room with Tony,” Kate replied.

“With Tony?” 

“Yeah, it’s been an interesting morning.”

Abby chewed on her lip for a few seconds. “I’ve got to see him. Tell him the minute he comes out to come and see me.”

“Is there something we should know?”

“No, at least not right now.”

“Abby, Tony and Gibbs are acting really strange; do you know why?”

“I gotta go!” 

Before Kate could utter another word, Abby was headed back down to the lab. She stared after her until she was out of sight and then turned her attention back to McGee. “Do it,” Kate snapped.

“Do what?” McGee asked, obviously confused by her sudden change of heart. 

“You know. That thing we talked about earlier, but don’t get caught.”

She rolled her eyes as realization dawned upon McGee. “Oh, you mean the…thing. I’ll get right on it.”

“I’ll be on the lookout for Gibbs and Tony. Let me know when you find something.”

Kate had barely started back to her desk when McGee called out to her. “Kate, I’ve got something…”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Tony forcibly buried the palms of his hand in his eyes in an effort to stop the flow of tears. The last thing that he had intended to do was to break down in front of Gibbs over something that happened a long time ago. Truthfully, he had planned on marching in the conference room and insisting that he was fine and that everything had been a big misunderstanding. Of course, he knew Gibbs wouldn’t believe it, but he was at least going to try. 

When he entered the room, he realized that he wasn’t going to be able to hide the truth any longer, at least not from Gibbs. The team leader deserved to know what kind of man he had for his senior agent; if he couldn’t protect his family, how could Gibbs count on Tony to have his six?

“I’m sorry,” Tony mumbled as wiped away the remnants of his tears, knowing that he had to pull himself together.

“Don’t apologize,” Gibbs said.

“I know. It’s a sign of weakness,” the weary agent finished.

“That’s not what I was going to say.”

“Really?”

“Yeah DiNozzo, really. You don’t have anything to apologize for,” the team leader maintained.

“Except for failing my family.”

“DiNozzo, I…”

“Don’t say it, Gibbs!” Tony warned. “Don’t say it’s not my fault! You don’t know what happened! You…”

Tony’s control over his emotions was tenuous; one moment he was consumed with grief and the next minute he was burning with rage. He had actually raised his voice to Gibbs, something that he had only done once since he had known the former Marine. It was a miracle that Gibbs had actually hired him after that particular confrontation. 

He stared at his trembling hands, silently willing them to keep still. Tony was aware that Gibbs was now sitting in the chair, facing him, waiting patiently for him to get a handle on his feelings.

“You’re right, Tony,” Gibbs quietly conceded. “I don’t know what happened and I won’t until you tell me.”

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“No, but I think I need to know. Don’t you?”

A tiny smile escaped Tony’s lips as he picked up the picture of Sydney. “God, she was beautiful.”

“Yes, she was,” the team leader agreed. “She was very beautiful.”

“We hadn’t been married three months before she got pregnant,” Tony began to recall. “It wasn’t planned. The birth control pills were supposed to be 99.1% effective; they left off the part about being .9% ineffective.”

Gibbs grinned and shook his head in amusement. “Yeah, I know. They do need to be clearer about that,” he concurred.

Tony was surprised the Gibbs actually agreed with him. Normally, he would have taken that comment and attempted to learn more about his mentor’s life, but at the moment, it was taking all his energy to deal with his own tormented past. 

“Anyway,” he continued, “after we got over the initial shock, we were pretty excited. We decided that she would be able to finish her freshman year, but towards the end of her pregnancy, the doctor put her on complete bed rest, so she took an incomplete in her classes and had planned to finish them in summer school. I was a sophomore and I was going to school, playing football, and working two part time jobs, but we were managing and we were happy.

“We had a tiny house about twenty minutes away from the university; it belonged to one of the coaches and he was letting us stay there in exchange for helping him fix it up.”

“Is that the address on the package?” Gibbs asked.

“Yeah, but the house isn’t there anymore.”

“What happened to it?”

“Burnt down.”

Tony was waiting for Gibbs to say something, but he remained silent. “I’ll get to that part in a minute,” Tony muttered.

“Take your time.”

He nodded and slowly exhaled. “Like I said, she started having problems with her health and the doctor put her on bed rest. I was running myself ragged going to school, working, and trying to take care of her. Thankfully, football season was over, so that helped a little. My frat buddies would go by and check on her and take her food, so things were working out. At least I thought they were.”

“What do you mean?” 

“About two weeks before she was murdered, I discovered that she was being stalked by an old boyfriend. Actually, he’d been harassing her for months and she kept it hidden from me. Told me she knew I was under a lot of stress and that he was harmless. She had dumped him before we had even started dating and assumed that he was out of her life now that she was married to me. I kind of freaked out on her; I think that was the first time I ever yelled at her. It dawned on me that I sounded just like my father and I broke down; she held me until I cried myself to sleep.”

“You’re nothing like you’re father, Tony,” Gibbs assured him. “All couples have spats. I would have probably reacted the same way. Sounds to me like you were burning the candle at both ends and everything just finally caught up with you. There’s nothing wrong with a man shedding a few tears.”

Tony shrugged. “Have you ever cried, Boss?” He wasn’t sure what possessed him to ask that question, but the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. 

Gibbs paused for minute, causing Tony to wonder if he had said something wrong. “Yeah, DiNozzo,” the former Marine said. “I’ve shed a few tears in my time.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” Tony promised. “Wouldn’t want to tarnish that tougher than nails reputation.”

The team leader grinned. “I appreciate that, DiNozzo. Now, quit changing the subject.”

“Right,” Tony sighed. “Anyway, the next morning, I apologized and all was forgiven, but I had decided that she would never be alone and even though she argued the point, I didn’t back down. My frat buddies volunteered to stay in shifts while I was at school and work and I placed a restraining order on Jason Miller.”

“Jason Miller was the ex-boyfriend; the stalker?”

“Yeah. Rich kid, had a lot of money to throw around.”

“Which you didn’t have.”

“Nope. We were barely making ends meet. Her parents refused to help us; they didn’t like me much and you know how my dad felt about me.”

“Sounds like you had some good friends.”

“Those guys were the best. Still are.”

“So, what happened? Sounds like you had your bases covered.”

“I thought so too, until…”

“Until what?”

Tony closed his eyes against the bloody images racing through his mind. He couldn’t relive this again, not even for Gibbs. Raking his fingers through his hair, he started rocking. “I can’t do this, Gibbs. Please don’t make me.”

“Tony, listen to me,” Gibbs demanded.

“I thought I could do this, but I can’t!”

Gibbs grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing him to meet the team leader’s worried gaze. “Tony, someone is obviously playing with your mind by forcing you to face your past and I guarantee that whoever this is, isn’t going to stop unless we stop him. You’ve got to confront this or they’re going to win. Is that what you want?” It was then Gibbs struck a nerve. “Is that what Sydney and Michael would want?” 

Tony shook his head. He could hear Sydney telling him that it was time to let someone help him. She always accused him of being stubborn and she was right; he had proved that on more than one occasion throughout their short marriage. “No,” he rasped. “It’s not what they would have wanted.”

“Then don’t you dare dishonor their memory by letting this bastard beat you…”


	4. Silent Tears

Jason Miller was very pleased with himself. His plan was brilliant, flawless, sheer perfection; he was destroying Anthony DiNozzo bit by bit and by the time he was done, there would be nothing left of the man who had ruined his life. DiNozzo had taken everything from him and now he was only to happy to reciprocate. It was clear that his nemesis had managed to move on with his life, building a new one away from the memories of the past. 

It was those memories that Miller planned on using to tear down Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. He was taking great pleasure in forcing Tony to relive the horrors of that night when he had been forced to kill Sydney. DiNozzo had obviously turned her against him, something that he could not accept. She had loved him at one time; surely she could have loved him again. 

His anger had quickly developed into rage when he learned that DiNozzo had placed a restraining order on him; he had also made sure that Sydney was never alone, preventing Jason from seeing his true love. From that moment on, he had vowed to kill his enemy and reclaim Sydney’s heart.

An evil grin escaped his lips as he picked up another picture of DiNozzo. “You couldn’t stop me, could you? I knew if I waited patiently, that I would be reunited with Sydney. It took a couple of weeks, but you finally got careless and left her alone. I went to talk to her and to wait for you; I wanted her to tell you that it was over between the two of you and then I was going to put you out of your misery. You were the one that was supposed to die, but she refused my love. She actually said that she loved you! Can you believe that? We fought and then one thing led to another and…”

Jason’s maniacal laughter echoed throughout the small motel room. “I wish you could have seen your face when you busted through that door. I’ll never forget the look in your eyes.” Disbelief, sadness, anger, and hatred, had been etched in DiNozzo’s features. “You wanted to kill me and you probably would have if she hadn’t still been alive and calling your name.

“Do you know what that felt like to have the woman you loved, call out another man’s name? It’s something that you don’t ever want to hear. But you know something, Tony? By the time I finish with you, you’ll be calling my name, begging me for mercy; just like she was.”

He took a sip of his third beer as he sat back against the headboard of his bed, DiNozzo’s picture still in hand. “You should have had gotten my latest surprise by now. How did you like it? I bet it brought back a lot of memories, didn’t it?

“This is just the beginning, DiNozzo,” he slurred. “This is just the beginning.” 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

McGee and Kate were aware that what they were about to do was an invasion of Tony’s privacy, but they could no longer deny their curiosity. The arrival of a mysterious package had evoked such an unexpected range of emotions from DiNozzo that they knew they had to find a reason for his unusual behavior. 

The junior agent had pulled up Tony’s college records and was quickly discovering that he didn’t know Tony as well as he thought he did. “Wow!” he exclaimed.

“What?” Kate inquired, her gaze never leaving the monitor.

“Tony actually graduated with honors. I always thought that he got through college because he was a jock,” Tim assumed.

“Guess you were wrong,” Kate replied.

McGee rolled his eyes. “You can’t tell me that you’re not surprised. I mean, this is Tony we’re talking about.”

“I’m not surprised, McGee. I mean if you look beneath the surface, Tony is an intelligent person who just chooses to hide behind his frat boy persona.”

“Gibbs told you,” he deduced.

“No. Tony told me and Gibbs confirmed it,” she admitted. “Not too long after I started, Tony and I were bickering about what made a person smart and that’s when he told me that he graduated with honors. I didn’t believe him and I guess I must have hurt his feelings. He walked away and I turned to go back to my desk and there was Gibbs. He told me that Tony did graduate with honors and that I better learn not to judge people so quickly.”

Not sure what to say, McGee nodded and turned his attention back to the computer screen. “It looks like Tony had three different addresses during his college career. The first one looks to be a campus address that he lived at during his freshman year.”

“And the second?”

“It looks like it’s off campus, maybe a more rural area; he was there until the spring of his sophomore year.”

“The third?”

“Closer to campus,” McGee stated. “A fraternity house; he stayed there until graduation.”

“I wonder why he lived off campus during his sophomore year.”

“I don’t know, but here’s something interesting. He took an incomplete in his classes his spring semester and didn’t finish them until the second session of summer school.”

“Why?” Kate asked.

“The reason was just listed as extenuating circumstances.”

“That’s not very helpful.”

“No, it’s not,” McGee agreed. 

He saw Kate’s face brighten as it did when she was struck by inspiration. “Why didn’t I think of this before?” 

“What?” he nervously inquired.

“Steve.”

“Who?”

“Remember Steve Adler? He was Tony’s frat brother that I dated for a while. Maybe he can fill in some of the blanks.”

“Do you think he’ll tell you anything? McGee knew that the bond between Tony and a few of his fraternity brothers was rather strong, often spending their vacations together trying to recapture the lost days of their youth.

“I don’t know, but it’s worth a shot.”

“Let me know what you find out. In the meantime, I’m going to…”

McGee stopped in mid-sentence and stared at his computer screen, quickly scanning the information that he had just pulled up. “Oh, boy,” he muttered.

“What’s wrong?” Kate wanted to know.

“Oh boy,” McGee repeated. 

Tim looked up at Kate. He saw the uncertainty in her eyes as she waited impatiently for him to answer her question. “Um, I think I found out why Tony lived off campus his sophomore year.”

“Why?” 

McGee swallowed as he motioned for her to pull up a chair. “I think you better sit down for this…”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Jethro Gibbs refused to release his grasp on the younger man, hoping that Tony would be able to draw from his strength. It was obvious that the events of the last twenty-four hours had taken their toll on his senior agent, both physically and emotionally. He was waiting for Tony to decide between confronting his demons or burying them once again so they could haunt him forever. It was a decision that had to be made and both he and Tony were fully aware of the ramifications. 

“Are you going to let this bastard win?” Gibbs asked once again, his tone softer but yet firm enough that Tony would not dare ignore him.

DiNozzo shook his head. “No,” he finally managed to whisper. “No, I won’t let him win.”

Gibbs nodded in satisfaction as he sat down in his chair and pulled it closer to Tony. “Good for you, DiNozzo. Good for you.”

“I hope so,” Tony whispered. 

“Tell me what happened,” the team leader quietly urged. 

He watched as Tony clasped his hands together in an effort to stop them from trembling. The agent was trying to pull himself together and Gibbs was prepared to give him all the time he needed. The former Marine understood how difficult it was to resurrect memories that were buried under a lifetime of guilt. He knew what DiNozzo was going through; he was familiar with the pain and anguish of losing a family and that feeling was something he wouldn’t wish on anyone. 

“Take your time, Tony. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Unless you uh…get a case,” Tony pointed out.

“McGee and Kate can handle it.”

A tiny smile formed on the senior agent’s lips. “Come on, Boss. McGee and Kate?”

“They’ve got to learn sometime,” Gibbs retorted. “Now quit changing the subject, DiNozzo.”

Tony nodded, his eyes fixed on the floor. Gibbs took a sip of his coffee and then placed it in Tony’s hands. “Drink,” he ordered.

“Boss, I don’t really like…”

Gibbs stood up and went over the counter and retrieved several packs of sugar. “Now drink it,” he insisted. “You need this more than I do.”

“Thanks, Boss,” Tony mumbled as he began to tear open the packs of sugar and dump them in the coffee. 

“You’re welcome.”

“Sydney could never make coffee,” Tony recalled. “I never had the heart to tell her that her coffee, well…sucked. She would get up every morning and make me a thermos before I went to classes and after I got to school, I’d dump it and then go one of the dining halls and get some of the good stuff.”

Gibbs had to smile as he wondered if Tony could even tell bad coffee from good coffee considering the amount of sugar he had to put in a cup. “It’s amazing what we’ll do for those we love.”

Tony shrugged. “I guess. I’m surprised I even still want to drink the stuff.”

“Why’s that?”

“The night she was killed, she had asked me to stop on my way home and get some coffee because we were out. I tried to tell her that I didn’t need it, but it’s pretty useless arguing with a pregnant woman.”

The team leader vividly remembered trying to argue with Shannon while she had been pregnant with Kelly. Her usual determination and grit and had seemed to increase ten fold while she had been expecting, and he had uncharacteristically given in to her, just like Tony had given in to Sydney. 

“It was the one day that I had left her alone,” Tony continued. “My buddy that was supposed to stay with her came down with the flu, so I was going to skip class and call in sick at work. But, Sydney wouldn’t hear of it. She knew I had a test that day and we really couldn’t afford for me to miss work. We were still paying on her last emergency room visit and so she managed to convince me that she could manage. We hadn’t seen or heard anything from Jason Miller since I had the restraining order placed on him, so against my better judgment, I agreed.” Tony rubbed a hand over his face. “I should have listened to my gut.”

“Hindsight’s a wonderful gift,” Gibbs said, “Unfortunately, it doesn’t change the past.”

DiNozzo shook his head and sighed. “No, it doesn’t. Anyway, I checked on her between school and work and everything was fine. The last thing she said to me was not to forget the coffee and she told me she loved me.”

He could only imagine how difficult this was for him; the former Marine wasn’t sure how he would handle being forced to recount his family’s tragic death. He had kept Shannon and Kelly’s existence and their death a secret, hidden from those he was closest to. Gibbs knew exactly how Tony felt, but how could he get that point across without being forced to revisit his own painful past.

His heart was aching for the younger man, the man that had become like a son to him. Tony was hurting and there was nothing he could do to alleviate his anguish; nothing except listen and try to figure out the identity of the person who was tormenting his agent.

“I…uh…came home and I heard her screaming.” Tony voice was barely above a whisper. “I ran in and found Miller trying to rape Sydney. I pulled him off of her and saw that she was covered in blood.”

Gibbs saw the tears forming and falling unbidden down Tony’s cheeks, but the agent pressed on with his tale of heartbreak. “Blood was everywhere,” DiNozzo continued to recall. “He had stabbed her repeatedly and she had must have tried to get away from him. She was bleeding from so many different places…”

The team leader could sense the struggle taking place in Tony’s mind. He could hear DiNozzo’s breathing hitch and Gibbs knew that he was trying to keep a grasp on his waning emotions. Tony had tried been attempting to detach himself from the memory while he was sharing it with the ex-Marine, but it was obviously becoming increasingly difficult for him to do so. 

“It’s all right, Tony,” Gibbs assured him. “Take your time.”

Tony met Gibbs’ concerned gaze. “I was trying to stop the bleeding, begging her to hang on. All she could think about was the baby; she kept telling me to save Sean, but she had been stabbed so many times.”

Gibbs fought to keep his own mask firmly in place. He needed to be strong for Tony, but his own feelings of sadness and guilt were precariously close to the surface. The former Marine tamped down the urge to vomit as DiNozzo continued.

“I was so busy trying to help Sydney, I forgot about Miller. I thought he was knocked out, but he must have just been dazed. He attacked me. He kept telling me that she loved him and that it was my fault he had to hurt her. I could hear her gasping for air as she begged me to save the baby. I couldn’t get away from Miller. He got in a few hits with his knife and before I knew it, everything went black and when I woke up, the house was in flames. I found Sydney’s body and got her out, but it was too late. 

“I sat there on the ground and held her body. The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital two days later, a couple of my frat buddies and my coach were sitting by my side. They told me that she was gone, but I already knew that. I later identified Jason Miller and the local PD picked him up.”

“What happened to Miller?” Gibbs finally managed to ask.

“Short version or long version?”

“Whichever one you want to tell me.”

“He was released on bail, got a fancy lawyer and got off on a technicality; he fled the country, never to be heard from again. The detective that worked the case tried to keep tabs on him for a while, eventually lost him.”

“Tony, I…”

“Don’t say it, please,” Tony pleaded. “Don’t try and tell me that I didn’t let Sydney and Sean down. They’re dead because of me, because I…”

Gibbs pulled Tony into a hug, stroking the back of his head like a father comforting a hurting child. DiNozzo was not one to show his true feelings and the fact that he was crying unnerved the former Marine. Very few people ever got to see the real Anthony DiNozzo; now, he was catching a glimpse of a broken man who had been forced to try and put the shattered pieces of his life back together again only to have them scattered like ashes in the wind. 

“You didn’t fail them, Tony. I know it seems like it, but you didn’t,” he insisted. “It’s going to be all right. We’ll get through this together; do you hear me?”

“I hear you, Boss.”

He silently cursed as Tony pulled back. Gibbs watched in silence as DiNozzo wiped away any evidence of tears. How could he convince the young man that it was all right to cry? His father had ingrained into Tony at a young age that crying was a sign of weakness and Gibbs could tell that even after all these years, the elder DiNozzo still had an unhealthy influence on his son. 

“Why don’t you take the rest of the day off?” Gibbs suggested, finally breaking the silence. 

“I’m fine,” Tony tersely replied. 

“No, you’re not. You’re tired exhausted. If we’re going to catch this guy, I need you well rested.”

“I don’t want to go home.”

“Then go to my place,” Gibbs offered.

“I can’t do that.”

Puzzled, Gibbs asked, “Why not?”

“I don’t want you involved in this,” Tony answered.

“I’m already involved, Tony,” he reasoned. 

“Gibbs, if this bastard turns out to be Jason Miller, I’m not going to stop looking for him until I kill him.”

He couldn’t reprimand Tony for his comment; Gibbs knew exactly how he felt. The former Marine had been able to execute his own form of justice on the man who had murdered Shannon and Kelly; he would not deny DiNozzo the opportunity to do the same. “I won’t stop you,” he vowed. 

Tony swallowed hard. “Thanks, Boss,” he mumbled. 

Another few moments of silence passed between them, the quietness allowing the two men to gather their thoughts and consider their next step. Gibbs picked up the box that had been placed on the table and studied it. He would have never believed that the arrival of this package would have resulted in Tony revealing such an incredibly painful secret. “Are you going to open it?”

The agent shook his head. “Not sure I want to.”

“Do you want me to?” 

DiNozzo shrugged. “Go ahead.”

Gibbs pulled out his knife and then slipped on a pair of gloves. He cut through the brown paper it was wrapped in to reveal a white box that had been taped shut. Cutting the tape, he peered inside. 

“What is it?” Tony inquired.

“It looks like a piece of clothing. Has OSU on the front.” 

He handed the box to Tony and watched as DiNozzo pulled out a small, long sleeve T shirt bearing the letters of his alma mater on it, with a pair of matching pants. The agent dropped the clothing back in the box and gave it back to Gibbs. “It’s the outfit that Sean was going to wear home from the hospital,” he rasped. “My frat brothers chipped in and bought it for him. I...figured that it had been lost in the fire.”

How much more was Tonysupposed to endure? Gibbs sat back in his chair, his eyes fixed on DiNozzo as the agent sat in his own chair, unmoving except for the slight quiver of his lip. He wanted to help him but the older man was at a loss what to do. 

“Tony,” he softly called out to the heartbroken agent. “You need to get out of here. I’m going to have someone drive you to my place and stay with you until I get there.”

“No!” DiNozzo cried out. “There’ll be too many questions and I can’t do this again. Not right now.”

“All right,” the team leader conceded. “But you do realize that everything is going to have to come out in the open, sooner or later, the others are going to eventually find out.”

“I know and I guess they deserve to know why I was acting like an ass this morning, but I just can’t do it right now.”

“Go down to Abby’s lab and rest. I’ll come and get you when I’m ready to leave.” 

“Abby will know something is wrong.”

“She’s already seen the picture of Sydney,” Gibbs reminded him.

“I know,” Tony sighed. 

“I’ll order her not to ask too many questions.”

“Think she’ll listen?”

“Nope,” he grinned. 

“Can’t I just stay here?” DiNozzo asked. “I won’t go anywhere. I just need to be alone for awhile.”

Gibbs couldn’t recall a time when Tony had sounded so desperate. He had the right to nurse his wounds, but the ex-Gunny didn’t want DiNozzo to rebury those memories that had been released. There was a certain freedom in sharing a burden and Gibbs didn’t want to see Tony held captive by his past any longer.

“You better be here when I get back, DiNozzo,” Gibbs warned. 

“I will,” he promised. 

The team leader rose and headed for the door. He glanced back over his shoulder and immediately regretted doing so. Tony was now clutching the tiny OSU outfit against his cheek, softly mumbling to himself. Gibbs strained to hear what DiNozzo was saying, but all he could make out were the words ‘I’m sorry.’ 

He shut the door behind him and leaned against the door frame as images of his own past began to assault him. The faces of Shannon and Kelly were becoming intertwined with those of Sydney and Tony’s unborn son. Gibbs cursed as he hit the wall with his fist. Ignoring the pain now shooting up his arm, he wondered how he was going to be able to help Tony if he had to battle the memories of his past.


	5. Silent Tears

Tony heard the door softly shut as Gibbs left him alone with his thoughts. He was grateful that the team leader seemed to understand his need for privacy and had simply accepted DiNozzo’s word that he would not go anywhere. He needed time. Time to try and force all those memories back into the box that he had buried in the far recesses of his mind long ago; memories that had pushed their way to the surface because of one person’s act of cruelty. 

It made sense that Jason Miller would be the one responsible for the pain that was engulfing his very being. He could vividly remember Miller’s lawyer informing the judge of the technicality that had allowed the man who had brutally murdered his family to walk out of that courtroom; Tony would never forget the smug expression on Jason Miller’s face; he was a free man and there was nothing that Tony could do to change that. 

Several of Tony’s fraternity brothers had been there with him and had been forced to literally carry him to the car. As soon as the judge had declared a mistrial, Tony felt what little life that he had left in him, drain from his body. He couldn’t move. He didn’t want to move. All he had wanted to do was to die, but somehow he had forced himself to keep going.

The detective in charge of the case had visited Tony and had vowed to keep an eye on Jason Miller, but it wasn’t long until Miller had dropped off the radar and simply vanished. Years had passed and Tony had managed to put his life back together only to have it shattered in one night by the one person that he hated with every fiber of his soul. 

Tony felt as if he had been given a second chance to see Sydney and Sean’s killer brought to justice. There was no way that the murdering bastard was going to walk away again. 

Tony picked up Sydney’s picture and stared at it, wondering what his life would have been like if he had been able to save them that fateful night. Would they have had more kids? Would they still be living in Ohio? Would he be coaching football or teaching physical education in a high school somewhere? What would Sydney be doing? Would she have achieved her dreams of being a doctor? So many questions floated through his mind, questions that he had not considered in a long time. 

“I’ll guess we’ll never know, Syd,” he quietly wept. “I wanted to spend my life with you. I wanted to watch Sean grow up, give him a brother or a sister; not right away, of course, but later on. I didn’t want him to be an only child. It sucks, or at least my experiences at being an only child did. God, what I wouldn’t give to do things differently; to have been there when you needed me.”

He clutched the picture tighter. “I’ll get him this time, Syd. I won’t let him get away with what he did to you and Sean. I won’t fail you again. I swear it,” Tony vowed. “I’ll make him pay.”

Carefully placing the picture and the outfit on the table, Tony rose from his seat and began to pace. There were so many things that he needed to do, but he wasn’t sure where to start. The one thing that he didn’t want to do was to reveal his past to his friends; he didn’t think that he would be able to handle their pity. He had seen enough of those looks to last him a lifetime. 

The first thing that he had to do was to make sure that it actually was Jason Miller who was forcing him to relive his worst nightmare. Truthfully, it really didn’t matter to him if it wasn’t Miller who was baiting him; if that piece of filth was back in the states, Tony would find him and make him pay for killing Sydney and Sean.

Tony wished that he had not promised Gibbs that he would stay in the conference room. Now that he had pulled himself together, he was starting to think like an agent again. His thoughts were now becoming organized and methodical; he knew what he needed to do, but he would wait on Gibbs. Tony would not go back on his word to the former Marine; he would rather die than break his word to the man who had become like a father to him.

“That’s what you get for not keeping your head screwed on straight, Anthony,” he mumbled to himself. 

Gibbs had managed to sit and listen to the sordid details of Sydney and Sean’s murder, while managing to exhibit that imperturbable strength that Tony had come to rely on over the years. Maybe it was Gibbs’ Marine training, maybe it was his experiences in dealing with such heinous crimes on a consistent basis, but somehow the team leader had remained determined and unflappable as Tony recounted the death of his wife and child.

But there had been a moment, when DiNozzo had noticed a flicker of sadness dance across Gibbs’ normally stoic expression; it was almost as if the ex-Marine understood his anguish on a personal level. Tony couldn’t explain it; for a brief moment, it was almost as if they shared a common pain. “Or maybe you’re just imagining things,” he mumbled.

Tony raked his hands through his short hair. “If I keep talking to myself, I won’t have to worry about finding Jason Miller or anybody else for that matter. I’ll be spending my time on the funny farm.”

His cell phone rang and Tony promptly answered it, figuring it was Gibbs. When he was meant with silence, he silently cursed for not glancing at the number on his caller ID. “DiNozzo,” he repeated.

“Did you like my surprise?”

His blood ran cold at the sound of the voice that had haunted him since last night. “You son of a…”

“Now Tony, you know that Sydney didn’t like it when you cursed. In fact, I think one time she threatened to wash your mouth out with soap, didn’t she?”

“How the hell do you know that?” Tony wanted to know. 

“She told me.”

Tony’s anger was threatening to spill over the dam that he had tried to build around his emotions. He knew he had to remain in control if he were going to find out the identity of his tormentor. “I don’t believe you,” he replied with a forced calmness, while simultaneously using the conference room phone to call Gibbs.

“It doesn’t matter whether you believe me or not; it’s true. Actually, she told me a lot of things about you. Do you know that she regretted the day that she ever met you? I bet she never told you that.”

“You’re a liar and coward,” Tony shot back, silently urging the team leader to pick up. As soon as Gibbs picked answered, Tony put the phone on speaker so the team leader would know to trace the call. “Why don’t you come out and face me like a man instead of hiding behind a telephone?” he challenged.

“Because I’m not ready for the game to be over.”

“You think this is a game?” he pressed, his rage continuing to build inside of him.

“Yes I do. Do you know what the prize is, Tony?”

“What?” Tony growled.

“Seeing you come to the realization that you’re no better than me. By the time I’m done with you, you will lose everything once again; your pride, your self respect, your friends, your job. I will take it all away from you; only this time, there won’t be enough pieces of your life to pick up.” 

There was no doubt in Tony’s mind who he was talking to. The sound of Jason Miller’s maniacal laughter was something that he had never forgotten. “I wouldn’t count on it, Miller.” 

Tony’s response was met with silence. He glanced at his phone to discover that Miller had hung up. DiNozzo prayed that Gibbs was able to have someone trace the call; he wanted to put an end to this nightmare once and for all. The spark of revenge had been reignited in Tony and he would see Miller brought to justice. This time there would be no lawyers, no courtroom, no loopholes, and nowhere for Miller to hide from his wrath.

He threw open the door and ran towards the bullpen where he found Gibbs hovering over McGee’s shoulder, glaring at the computer screen as the junior agent attempted to trace the call. Tony ignored the curious stares of Kate and several other agents as he planted himself in front of Tim’s desk. 

“Boss, please tell me we got him,” Tony pleaded.

“McGee!” Gibbs barked.

Tony didn’t think it was possible for McGee to type any faster, but the stern tone of the team leader had urged the younger man’s fingers to move even more swiftly. “It’s a burn phone,” Tim finally announced. “But the good news is that it’s still activated and I can give you a general location of…”

“Now, McGee!” Tony demanded.

He listened as McGee spouted off the familiar address. “Bastard’s outside my apartment building,” the senior agent announced, knowing that the others had also made the connection. 

The senior agent looked at Gibbs, who with a curt nod, indicated that he would accompany Tony back to his apartment. He was thankful that the ex-Marine had his six. As the two men headed towards the elevator, they left behind two very confused colleagues who were probably feeling excluded. But at the moment, Tony didn’t care. There would be time to explain everything after he had taken care of Jason Miller once and for all.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Gibbs made his way to the bullpen, overwhelmed by Tony’s revelation. His heart ached for the younger man, knowing from experience that the only way that DiNozzo was going to be able to move forward was to face his past. As he rounded the corner, he saw Kate and McGee huddled over the junior agent’s computer, their attention riveted to his monitor. He had a feeling that whatever was holding their curiosity had nothing to do with a case.

“Found something interesting?” he inquired.

Both agents startled at the sound of his voice. Gibbs hid his smile as McGee punched a key to clear the screen and Kate began thumbing through a folder on Tim’s desk. His suspicions had been right; the two of them had definitely been up to something. 

“We, uh, we were just looking up something on a cold case,” McGee stammered.

“Which one?” Gibbs asked, easily sensing that McGee was lying. 

“Uh, which one?”

“Yeah, McGee,” he snapped. “Which cold case?”

“Well, uh…”

Gibbs didn’t miss McGee’s sigh of relief when Kate stepped forward, placing herself between him and the younger man. “Gibbs, we weren’t working on a cold case,” she admitted.

“Really?” he deadpanned. “So, what were you doing?”

“We were looking into Tony’s college file.”

He clenched his jaw. “Why?”

“We thought that maybe we could figure out who sent that package to him. He seemed upset and…”

“And so you took it upon yourselves to do some good old fashioned snooping?” Gibbs’ tone was harsh, his voice reflecting the anger that was welling up inside of him. “Did I tell you to pull up Tony’s college records?”

“Well no,” she answered. “We just thought…”

“No, you didn’t think, Kate,” he angrily countered. 

“We were just trying to figure out why the address on that package rattled Tony,” Kate continued to explain. “The return address was from some place in Ohio, so we just put two and two together and…”

“Decided to poke your nose into Tony’s business.”

Kate snickered. “Like he never does that to us, Gibbs.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“Because Tony knows when to draw the line. You and McGee crossed that line and it better not happen again!”

“It won’t,” she quietly promised. 

“Good. Now, I’m sure that you two have actual work that you need to do.”

Kate and McGee nodded in agreement. “Boss?” Tim nervously called out. “Do you want to know what we found out?”

“No, I don’t.”

“You already know what’s in that file,” Kate stated.

Gibbs didn’t know everything that was in Tony’s record and he had to admit that he was curious, but after everything that he had learned this morning, he knew that DiNozzo would tell him whatever he wanted to know. “I don’t need to see his record, Kate. If I’ve got any questions, I’ll ask Tony.”

“So, you know that Tony was married in college?” Kate blurted out.

His eyes narrowed, his steely gaze fixed upon the two agents. “What I know is what DiNozzo told me and I’m not at liberty right now to share that information. Anything that you two need to know, I will tell you. Whatever you saw in that file will not leave this office. Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes,” McGee and Kate answered in unison.

“Good.”

The sound of the phone ringing on his desk shattered the awkward silence between the three agents. He started to answer with his usual gruff mono syllabic response when he heard Tony’s voice on the other end. “Why don’t you come out and face me like a man instead of hiding behind a telephone.”

“Damn!” he mumbled to himself. He snapped his fingers to in order to gain McGee’s attention. “Trace the incoming call on Tony’s cell!” he ordered.

Gibbs listened intently as Tony allowed himself to be baited by the mysterious caller, purposefully prolonging the call in hopes of being able to trace it. DiNozzo was doing an admirable job of holding himself together despite the stranger’s malicious taunts. 

“Have you got it yet?”

“A little bit longer, Boss,” McGee informed him. 

The former Marine nodded as he continued to listen. “I wouldn’t count on it, Miller,” Tony said. DiNozzo had called the man by name and the silence that followed confirmed his and Tony’s suspicions; the identity of the man that was torturing his agent was indeed Jason Miller. 

Within a few seconds, Tony stormed into the bullpen, his stride determined and his mind clearly set on finding Jason Miller. “Boss!” Tony called out. “Please tell me we’ve got him.”

Gibbs glanced over at Tim. “McGee!”

He could sense the tension radiating from his senior agent. Tony was tightly wound, the events of the day threatening to send him over the edge. Gibbs moved to stand beside DiNozzo, hoping that his presence would remind Tony that he wasn’t in this alone. 

“It’s a burn phone,” McGee said. “But the good news is that it’s still active and I can give you a general location…”

“McGee!” Tony shouted.

The team leader immediately recognized the address. “Bastard’s outside my apartment,” Tony announced.

Gibbs nodded at Tony and the two of them headed towards the elevator, leaving Kate and McGee behind. Once the doors closed, he reached out and hit the emergency stop button. 

“Gibbs!” Tony cried out. “What the hell are you doing?”

He grabbed Tony by the shoulders and forced the agent to look at him. “I want to make sure that your head is on straight.”

“It is,” DiNozzo answered, a bit too quickly for Gibbs’ liking.

“I know you want this guy and I’ll help you get him, but I don’t want you to get killed in the process. I don’t think Sydney and Sean would want that either.”

“I’ll be careful.”

“Just don’t forget that I’ve got your back.”

“I won’t, Boss,” Tony promised. “Now, can we go?”

Gibbs released DiNozzo and hit the switch to start the elevator back up. “We’ll get him, Tony.”

Tony nodded. “I know, Boss.”

He glanced down at his ringing cell phone to discover Abby was calling him. “Gibbs.”

“Didn’t McGee or Kate tell you I needed to see you?” she wanted to know.

“No, but it doesn’t matter. I can’t come down right now.”

“But Gibbs, I think I know who sent you the letter. I found a smudge on the edge of the paper and so I ran it and got an ID.”

“Jason Miller.”

“How did you know?”

He hung up on the scientist and turned to face Tony. “Abby got an ID. Jason Miller.”

Tony merely nodded. The two men stood in silence, each man silently vowing that Jason Miller would finally be found guilty for the murder of Sydney and Sean DiNozzo, only this time, there would be no judge or jury to set him free.


End file.
